that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
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