the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
That was before I lit my hair on fire
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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