i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
