And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
