i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
