You're so nebulous sometimes
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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