Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
