I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
