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• (773): View more from Illinois

  legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup

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• (318): View more from Louisiana

  I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.

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• (914): View more from New York

  He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit

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• (+86): View more from China

  Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.

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• (641): View more from Iowa

  You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.

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• (555): View more from

  Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.

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• (707): View more from California

  Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha

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• (360): View more from Washington

  My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"

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