My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
