No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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