Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
