dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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