Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
