Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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