My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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