Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
