OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
