she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
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