i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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