He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
