Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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