Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
