I will die if light touches me.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Randomize
