Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
