am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
