no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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