she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
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