He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Pappa wants mamma naked
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
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