What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Houston, we have a squirter
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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