Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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