xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Randomize