She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
