the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
