lets start a swedish sibling band together
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
