Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
