u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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