Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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