the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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