Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
