Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
