plz talk dirty to me
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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