So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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