i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
