haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
