He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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