It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
