Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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