I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
