This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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