Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
he high fived his dick after we had sex
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
