we're chasing vodka with high fives
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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