In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
