fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
