Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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