Whod you bang
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
