her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
