Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize