He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
