i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
