i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
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