Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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