the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
