i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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